“There are four stages in a marriage. First there's the affair, then the marriage, then children and finally the fourth stage, without which you cannot know a woman, the divorce.”
"I don't see any reason for marriage when there is divorce."
"The foolish and cruel notion that a wife is to obey her husband has sent more women to the grave than to the courts for a divorce."
Lemuel K. Washburn
"The possibility of divorce renders both marriage partners stricter in their observance of the duties they owe to each other. Divorces help to improve morals and to increase the population."
"For some reason, we see divorce as a signal of failure, despite the fact that each of us has a right, and an obligation, to rectify any other mistake we make in life." Joyce Brothers
"She got the gold mine. I got the shaft."
"There's nothing like a family crisis, especially a divorce, to force a person to re-evaluate his life."
"Staying married may have long-term benefits. You can elicit much more sympathy from friends over a bad marriage than you ever can from a good divorce."
P. J. O'Rourke
“Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand”
"What's going to be hard for me is to try to divorce myself as much as possible from what I wrote. I'll have to approach it simply as raw material and try to craft a film script out of it."
“The happiest time in any man's life is just after the first divorce.”
John Kenneth Galbraith
"Very few people can truly divorce themselves from what they feel emotionally and sexually."
"That was the best thing I ever did probably, the day I filed for divorce." [From Pamela Anderson]
"Love, the quest; marriage, the conquest; divorce, the inquest."
"I always used to look at books and wonder how anybody could come up with so many words. But my divorce and then falling in love with somebody else has released in me an ability to write in other ways apart from songs."
"Divorce is a game played by lawyers."
“You know, that's the only good thing about divorce; you get to sleep with your mother.”
Clare Boothe Luce
"The day I initiated divorce proceedings against Michael Farmer, I was ready to retire to a desert cave and rethink my life."
"Divorce is one of the most financially traumatic things you can go through. Money spent on getting mad or getting even is money wasted."
“A bachelor is a selfish, undeserving guy who has cheated some woman out of a divorce”
"I went through a divorce right as we were starting the show. My divorce became final right after we started shooting the first year, and during that time I was in such a low place."
"Today, one year after their divorce, Pamela and Tommy Lee announced they're getting back together. You know what that means? There's still hope for Ike and Tina Turner."
“Ah, yes, divorce ... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.”
"Divorce these days is a religious vow, as if the proper offspring of marriage."
"People try much less hard to make a marriage work than they used to fifty years ago. Divorce is easier."
"Life is like an onion. You peel it off one layer at a time, and sometimes you weep."
"My divorce came to me as a complete surprise. That's what happens when you haven't been home in eighteen years."
"If marriage means you fell in love, does divorce mean you climbed out?"
"What a holler would ensue if people had to pay the minister as much to marry them as they have to pay a lawyer to get them a divorce."
"Topographically the country is magnificent - and terrifying. Why terrifying? Because nowhere else in the world is the divorce between man and nature so complete. Nowhere have I encountered such a dull, monotonous fabric of life as here in America. Here boredom reaches its peak."
"Each generation wants new symbols, new people, new names. They want to divorce themselves from their predecessors."
"A New York divorce is in itself a diploma of virtue."
"In Palm Springs, they think homelessness is caused by bad divorce lawyers."
G. B. Trudeau
"Christ and The Church: If he were to apply for a divorce on the grounds of cruelty, adultery and desertion, he would probably get one."
"Divorce is probably of nearly the same date as marriage. I believe, however, that marriage is some weeks the more ancient."
"I had a really good childhood up until I was nine, then a classic case of divorce really affected me."
"An open marriage is nature's way of telling you that you need a divorce."
“American husbands are the best in the world; no other husbands are so generous to their wives, or can be so easily divorced”
"Divorce is the one human tragedy that reduces everything to cash."
Rita Mae Brown
"Just another of our many disagreements. He wants a no-fault divorce, whereas I would prefer to have the bastard crucified." J.B. Handlesman
"I'm not saying that people should not divorce, but at the rate at which it happens here is sick. The kids, they suffer. I don't care what anyone says."
“The worst reconciliation is better than the best divorce”
Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra
"Divorce is the psychological equivalent of a triple coronary bypass."
Mary Kay Blakely
"You never really know a man until you have divorced him."
Zsa Zsa Gabor
"Compared to America or Europe, God isn't a big part of our lives here. I don't know anyone here who goes to church when he's had a rough divorce or is going through depression. We go out into nature instead."
"Divorce is born of perverted morals and leads to vicious habits."
Pope Leo XIII
“I'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house.”
Zsa Zsa Gabor
"Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries."
“She cried, and the judge wiped her tears with my checkbook.”
"My wife Mary and I have been married for forty-seven years and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce; murder, yes, but divorce, never."
“I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something's wrong with me. “
"When people divorce, it's always such a tragedy. At the same time, if people stay together it can be even worse."
"Being divorced is like being hit by a Mack truck. If you live through it, you start looking very carefully to the right and to the left."Jean Kerr
"Most women outlive their spouses. Divorce remains at record rates. It's important for a woman to be able to control her finances."
"Years ago I wanted to buy an apartment in New York City. I was a single female - I had gone through my divorce - I had three children, I was in show business and black. It was, like, impossible."
“Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it.”
"Anybody who's been through a divorce will tell you that at one point. they've thought murder. The line between thinking murder and doing murder isn't that major."
“So many persons think divorce a panacea for every ill, who find out, when they try it, that the remedy is worse than the disease”
"In Hollywood, an equitable divorce settlement means each party getting fifty percent of publicity."
"I got a divorce eleven years later on the grounds of cruelty, which is still not easy in England."
"I am never going to get divorced, and that's that."
Diana Princess Of Wales
"A lawyer is never entirely comfortable with a friendly divorce, anymore than a good mortician wants to finish his job and then have the patient sit up on the table."
"A lot of people have asked me how short I am. Since my last divorce, I think I'm about $100,000 short."
"A divorce is like an amputation: you survive it, but there's less of you."
“You don't know a women till you've met her in court.”
"I do not consider divorce an evil by any means. It is just as much a refuge for women married to brutal men as Canada was to the slaves of brutal masters."
Susan B. Anthony
"Adultery - which is the only grounds for divorce in New York - is not grounds for divorce in California. As a matter of fact, adultery in Southern California is grounds for marriage."
"I lived a really wonderful life with this man and even after our divorce, it was incredible."
"In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage."
“I swear, if you existed I'd divorce you.”
"My parent's divorce and hard times at school, all those things combined to mold me, to make me grow up quicker. And it gave me the drive to pursue my dreams that I wouldn't necessarily have had otherwise."
"You can't divorce religious belief and public service I've never detected any conflict between God's will and my political duty. If you violate one, you violate the other."
"How can they beat me? I've been struck by lightning, had two back operations, and been divorced twice."
"What a lovely surprise to finally discover how unlonely being alone can be."
"The difference between divorce and legal separation is that a legal separation gives a husband time to hide his money."
"To get over my divorce, I got a prescription to live at the Playboy Mansion for a while."
"Divorce should be the last possible option, rather than something we should be smoothing the passage to."
"I've given my memoirs far more thought than any of my marriages. You can't divorce a book."